I tend to find myself daydreaming often. It is something I have always done. I blame it on my ADD at times, but I know that deep down I just like to imagine the “what if.” For instance, I’ll find myself hearing music on the radio and think, man I wish I could play the piano or guitar like that or even sing like that person. Even watching TV or movies I think, “I could act out that part better than that guy” or “I could write a better sequel or season finale than that.”
This doesn’t seem too harmful does it? You’re right, it’s not bad. But these are small examples of me trying to compare myself to other people. What if I take it a step further? After thinking about it more, I found I tend to compare my life to others around me. It could be a friend or family member. I look at people in my life who have the money to go on trips all the time, buy things I want, go on elaborate vacations, among many other things I wish I could do. It doesn’t take long for me to get jealous and start comparing my life to theirs.
This is when I start asking two haunting questions; “Why can’t I live a life like that?” and “What if I had made different decisions in the past, could I have made a different life for myself and my family?” Okay so technically it was three questions. On the surface, these questions aren’t terrible. It’s okay to learn from past mistakes to better yourself for the future, but DWELLING on these questions can be toxic.
Allow me to switch gears for a second to add to this. There is this guy in the Bible named Saul. Ever heard of him? He was the first king of Israel. He was anointed as king by God himself. Saul and his army were a part of many key defeats of the Philistines. For the most part Saul was a good king, that is until David came onto the scene and he became crazy jealous. After David defeated Goliath, people started singing the praises of him.
1 Samuel 18:7-8 says, “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands. Saul was very angry; this refrain displeased him greatly.” Saul became jealous of David. This jealousy led Saul to be consumed by an evil spirit (hardened heart) and he tried to kill David several times until he finally ended his own life. Saul’s jealousy became a cancer in his life for the rest of his days. He just couldn’t let it go. Kind of like the evil queen from Snow White, “Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” Okay, I digress.
This hits home on so many levels for me. How many times have I gone on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram to look at other people and see how they are living their life? Not only do I compare myself to someone who is doing better than me, but I do the opposite as well. I try to find someone else who may not be doing as well as I am, so I can say the phrase, “well at least I’m not as bad off as them.” How self-absorbed am I? I am trying to nitpick, so I can say that I am doing something better and if I can’t find anything wrong, then I immediately turn to, “I wish I could live my life like that” or “I wish I had the skills to do that.” That is an AWFUL way to live life.
Okay, let me take a metaphorical deep breath here because let’s face it, EVERYONE does this, and it can be quicksand in our life, especially spiritually. BUT God always has an answer for us. Hebrew 12:1-3 says, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”
I have been reminded recently that God has not blessed me with every gift possible, but merely a certain set of them. I am a terrible singer. I certainly can’t play an instrument, unless the air guitar during Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” counts. I can’t grow the perfect beard. And I have a fear of heights and spiders. But what can I do? God has blessed me with a good sense of humor, a tender heart, a hate for seeing others in pain or need, an allergic reaction to conflict and a family to share this life with. I know God has blessed me with more, but you get the picture.
God has called us to run OUR race and stay in OUR lane. The goal is Jesus and our lane is the talents and gifts that God has blessed us with. When I start looking over at what one of my friends, family members, or coworkers are doing, it is going to be easy to crash because I am not fixing my eyes on Jesus (straight ahead). I have to realize my gifts are my own and even though they are different than what someone else has, it doesn’t mean I can’t bring glory and honor to God.
After I came to this realization, another question popped into my head, “what about someone who has the same talents as me but might be better at it?” Example: all my years growing up, I was considered the class-clown or the comic relief of the group. Every now and then another guy would come along and at times be way funnier than me. I would get so insecure and jealous (Chandler-esk from Friends)! Comedy was my thing and I should be the best at it, so the thought of someone being funnier than me didn’t set well.
I know this is such a trivial example, but it is so true. There may be other people out there who have a similar skill set as you and in fact they may be better than you at the skill. BUT it doesn’t mean you aren’t good at your skill or gift. Romans 12:4-6a says, “For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them.”
We are all a part of the body. We are all one with Christ. As it says at the end there, whatever God has given you (big or small or quality of gift), LET US USE THEM! God may have only given me a particular kind of humor because he knows I couldn’t handle more than that. Instead of worrying about WHAT God has given me, I should be thankful he HAS given me something.